huh?

For a few people that know me, it goes without saying, they saw this blog coming.

I am passionate about communication.

A few months back I was in Long Beach, CA with a very good friend of mine.  She and I have known each-other and been very good friends for over ten years now, which seems to me some sort of accomplishment, but, being as we live in different towns and lead what tend to be very fast paced lives we rarely get to see one another.  And for that matter, it is sometimes difficult to keep in touch.  But on this particular occasion, we were actually in the same place, at the same time, and we had even planned on seeing each-other for the first time in what may have been over a year.

We met at a boardwalk in Long Beach where there were restaurants near a marina.  I waited anxiously for her to arrive.  When she walked up from the parking lot we smiled at each-other, shared a big hug, and began to chat.  You know, the usual stuff “It’s so great to see you,” “wow you look great ,” (by the way, she did) “what have you been up to?”  We began to walk along the marina, watching the sun set into the Pacific as people tended to their boats and the restaurants began to fill up, and our conversation almost instantly went directly into the things that were most deeply affecting our lives.

I remember she and her family were going through some very difficult times and we prayed together.  We continued talking.  I had that distinct feeling that there had been absolutely no time lost.  That no matter how long we had not seen each other for, it didn’t make a difference to our friendship.  That’s the amazing thing about good friends, though there may be time and distance between  us, we can still know the essence of the other person, knowing how they would be feeling and reacting to the things that are happening in their lives.  That’s what was happening, the miracle of understanding.

We sat down at a restaurant and had dinner.  She let me try her margarita (which I, by the way, successfully guessed she would order out of nearly fifty other margaritas) and I have to say it was very good.  As we sat there, we spoke.  Then, something amazing happened: in a moment of silence, as we sat at that table on that perfect evening by the ocean, as we enjoyed being together, as we reminisced, as we shared our feelings, as I looked across the table and felt joy just because I was seeing this great friend of mine, I realized that God was there.

He was in the midst of our moment.  I felt at peace like I have only felt in times when it was painfully obvious that God was taking control of a situation.  One thing was different though: this wasn’t something that I needed God to take control of, everything was great, He just decided to show up and make things better.  It was easily one of the most spiritual experiences I have had the opportunity to be a part of.

All of that to say this: my experience in Long Beach reminded me of something: I love deep, meaningful conversation, in fact, there are few things that I value more.  Perhaps that was one of things that made Long Beach so spiritual, it was not just-at least not to me-a good long visit with a great friend, but it was an honest look into the heart, an exchange of a mutual bond of love (and I say this for my Long Beach friend’s sake) between friends.

I think that this experience was hinged on our conversation, that without communication, it would not have happened.  Why is this important?  Allow me to explain.

In the grand scheme of creation we can see that there are many ways that all of God’s creatures communicate with each other.  Birds do dances that communicate their desire to mate, dogs wag their tales when they are happy, whales sing songs to one another that only they understand, and the great roar of the lion reminds us why he is the king of the beasts.  But for all of the ways that nature communicates, there is no comparison to the depth of mutual understanding that can happen within mankind.

We are given the infinite blessing of expression, and over the course of human history we have found many ways to use this blessing.  We have created languages, both verbal and non-verbal, we have systems of writing, we paint pictures, we splatter colors that describe emotion deeper than words, poets are inspired by both beauty and pain, the theatre was created as a way to make us laugh and cry at ourselves.  Yes, we have done many things to create new ways to have conversations (as you read this you might realize that you are using one of the modern contrivances of communication, the blog) and many of them help, but I fear that some hinder.

My point is text messaging.  What a foul stench in my nostrils!  This medium was developed as a way to share a quick message in a discrete manner but it seems to me that the text message has done an excellent job at replacing conversations.  Instead of sharing difficult truths, we text to each other as cowards that do not want to face the emotions our words will cause others, and then, when we see those that we text with, we only talk about the things that we have already texted (as if ‘texted’ was a word!) to each-other.  We would rather be clever and witty with a grammatically incorrect text message than to think thoughts that matter and so we become lazy.

And laziness is a good way to kill yourself.

Or a language for that matter.

The reason that I so detest text messaging stems entirely from the adverse affects that it has on language.  We can’t spell any more, we don’t know what a comma is (some of you are saying “I know what a comma is, it’s that thing where people are in the hospital unconscious for a long time.”  My point exactly to those of you who understand) and heaven forbid that we even use the words that construct our sentences; “OMG whats he saying ttyl.”

Why does this matter? 

I’m so glad you asked. 

It is because language is a beautiful gift from God, a gift that makes us human.  When we stop valuing what makes us human we allow ourselves to fall into the habits of animals.  Soon, instead of speaking an understandable language we grunt, dance, roar and squeal as the beasts of the earth and rob ourselves of the image of God.  And that’s the point.

Being able to understand one another is a reflection of what God made us to do.  It is a picture of paradise, a sampling of heaven and we have an opportunity, through our communication, to bring heaven to this earth.  Just think, so many of us desire to be understood, to be accepted, to feel important to each-other, and most importantly, to be loved.  Why would we create tools that deprive us of those things?  Why would we prefer such tools?  Perhaps in the preference of the severance of understanding we accept with it the little bit of hell that it brings.

Some of you might think this a little strange or extreme, but it has been my experience that any great and wonderful and meaningful life changing experience that I have ever had has come as a result of closing a 24 hour Del Taco with a friend, or staying up all night playing Monopoly, or sitting at an outdoor restaurant in Long Beach.  All that I am trying to say is that I have experienced God, I have experienced heaven in the honest exchange of ideas, not solely in this place, but frequently and I would think it a shame to lose these kinds of experiences because of something so silly as a text message.

So the next time that you want to talk to someone, send them a text asking them to meet you somewhere…  Oh, and may you have many evenings like mine in Long Beach, and to my friend, thanks for a good time, I hope to see you again soon.